It’s hard to describe to someone who is disconnected from themselves and from spirit, how truly powerful and fulfilling a thing it is, to feel the presence of spirit in day to day life.
I was that person for a long time and sometimes I still am. Spirituality was a thing to be avoided and feared. It would make you one of those happy- clappy people or zealots you see shouting on street corners and it would mean surrendering control of my life. I was afraid of it.
In truth, the fear was deeper than that. What I really feared was facing my own wounds, accepting myself, loving myself and all that would entailed. I had created stories and justifications for my losses and the absence I lived with on a daily basis. I filled it with drugs, drink, sex, food, cigarettes and work.
Even after I trained as a healer and began to deliver workshops, I continued to resist my absence of self and tried to justify myself through the work I was doing – I was using that connection to replace my own lack of connection to self.
My trauma isn’t relevant to this story but my inability to look at it and take ownership of it is.
I have a responsibility to stop pushing my fear onto others, to stop holding them responsible for my actions, and not to justify my behaviour because of how much I’ve been through or what I have lost. This behaviour keeps me from spirit and from connection. I now know we have to first surrender to our own truth, no matter how painful that may be for us.
Abundance isn’t something we can just get. We can’t find it, demand it or hope it into being. The key is to surrender – to accept who you are, where you came from and all that you experienced. Not in a place of self-pity, not, this is my lot and it cannot be changed, but from a place of acceptance and a realisation that none of it is either good nor bad, rather simply the sum total of your life experience and the lessons it has taught you. The trauma is actually your friend and your teacher, you can use the power of it to manifest anything in your life.
I have begun to manifest a balanced life, balanced between family, job and the work I want to do with and for other people. For me healing isn’t some great gift I have been given to share with the world, it isn’t some magical force that I am lucky to have tapped into and it doesn’t make me special. I am a man; I love, I laugh, I hurt and I cry. I get angry and swear too much. But I believe that I can hold the energy of truth and connection because I have faced, and continue to face my own truth’s. I surrender to that and in turn connect to myself, my ancestors and to spirit.
Spirit is the name I give to all things combined, the Universe, God, Allah, Buddha the shamanic otherworld. To me, these things are all one – perceived through the eyes of people and as such, they all look different, but ultimately, they are of the same essence. That is why great wisdom can be found, in any world religion or belief system, because we are all looking at the same source through our own distorted point of view.
In facing my own horrors, I am able to stand next to another and hold a space for them, a space that speaks to them –letting them know that I have seen the darkness and will not fear theirs or judge them for what they hold in it. That space is where healing work can really be done. I open a door for people to look at things they don’t want to see, but need to in order to connect to their joy in life. They do their own healing and they are the ones that bring their truth, they have to do it themselves, no-one can teach them, no-one can else do it for them. I sit with them, show them the way to access their truth, and this allows them, if they are ready to face it, to see it and transform it from the barrier that limits them into power that can be drawn on. It is the job of the healer to be present and to show the light of truth by embracing it ourselves. If as a healer, I hold my own truth and connect to spirit and to my own manifesting destiny, then the pattern is there for people to see, feel and experience for themselves, within themselves.
No book, no lecture, no words, can hold the depth of knowledge to be gained from truly being in communion with one’s self and with spirit. It is only by coming together in openness and in fellowship that we can pass on these gifts and rise out from the weight of systemic and societal pressure, truly embracing ourselves and one another as wonderful, unique and powerful beings.
I don’t have all the answers, and neither do you, but you do have something no one else has – the life you have been given. Embrace it, accept it and watch the miracles happen.
Article by Pete Sneddon